The Difference Between Assuming and Knowing

From the Odd Couple to Metallica

I’ve only watched two episodes of the Odd Couple, and yet one line has stayed with me ever since.  It’s from an episode when they had to go court and I was introduced to the difference between assuming and knowing. 

“You know what you do when you assume, you make an ASS out of U and ME.” Felix Unger (Tony Randall) The Odd Couple.

There it is, simple, clear and to the point.

Today we feel the demand to make decisions quickly. Everything needs to be done instantaneously. Time is no longer a one-to-one ratio with money, it’s the money of the now and the future, a one-to-two ratio.  There’s such a rush to be: the first to answer, the first to take action and the first to move onto the next moment.  The need for immediate answers, creates stress, narrows your focus and limits your ability to see the big picture. This creates a false sense of confidence in your knowledge of the situation. 

We often make assumptions without knowing. Thinking that a snapshot, one piece of information is all we need to make a clear decision. In 1997 Marcy’s Playground had the number one rock song of the year with “Sex and Candy”. Metallica came in at number 32 with “Unforgiven II”.  Looking at this one snapshot in time, you could infer that Marcy’s Playground was a better rock band then Metallica, and you would wrong…like horribly embarrassingly wrong. I know this example is funny, (but seriously Metallica no contest), the message is anything but.  Making decisions based on a snapshot instead of the whole reel can lead to more damage than, just turning red with embarrassment over your lack of musical knowledge.

Assumptions are the termites of relationships." – Henry Winkler

What would happen if you took a moment before making a decision, offering a service or giving an answer? One moment to ask, “What information do I have, how much of it is known, and what other information would provide me with a more expansive view?”.   One of the most underrated states of mind in our society is that of curiosity.  Being curious enough to ask a few questions will lead to: more clarity, greater understanding and perhaps most importantly the deepening of relationships.  Asking a perspective client for more information about their particular needs before offering your services, will show that you do care about them as individuals, while gaining insight on how to best serve them.

Being the first with the answer, the first to the client and the first to the head of the line is not always where you want to be.  Make sure you take the time to decipher facts from opinions, and snapshots from long views.  Curiosity can be a great asset, not just in gaining knowledge, but in building relationships.  Once again…Metallica wins.

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