The Double-Edged Sword of Getting Opinions

Does This Make Me Look Fat?

“Don’t let someone else’s opinion of you become your reality.” – Les Brown

You’re unsure of what you’re doing, the future is unclear, so you ask for another’s opinion.  It can be anything from: “does this outfit make me look fat” to “should I leave my job and start my own passion-based business” or even “what do you think about starting my carrots inside from seed” (remember I do have a garden). You may think there’s nothing wrong with asking someone for their opinion, you’re just gathering information.  What if I told you, it does matter?  That asking yourself two questions first, may prevent you from: wearing a hideous thick horizontal lined pantsuit, staying in a job you loathe or starting your root vegetables inside, only to lose them on the transfer. 

Question One: Can They Be Impartial?

People that care greatly about you sometimes have trouble seeing things from an impartial perspective.  Leaving your secure job to start a business is one exhilarating, scary, and potentially risky endeavor.  You will be giving up consistent income and benefits, while still having to pay bills, and investing some of your savings in what could be consider an uncertain future. Often times, those that love you the most just want you to be safe. In an effort to protect you, they point out the benefits of that soul-sucking job, while making sure you’re well aware of the number of small businesses that fail.  They are not doing this because of a lack of belief in you. In their mind, it’s just safer to stay in the shallows, and only dream of swimming in the deep end.

For some, their self-worth could be threatened by your success. If you’re not careful, you’ll be wearing that absolutely hideous pantsuits, while they look stunning in a little black dress.

Question Two: What’s Their Frame of Reference?

Do they know, or more importantly understand, the topic you’re seeking their opinion on?  Asking a financial advisor who lives in the city and thinks baby carrots are really baby carrots, may not be the best person to seek advice on how to grow vegetables.  Asking a baby boomer about a message geared towards a millennial, is probably not the best representation of your ideal client.

When looking for clarity and advice, ask someone that has a solid frame of reference, and can remain impartial. Remember when it comes to getting opinions, they are just opinions, you still get to make the final choice, it’s YOUR LIFE. With that being said, making those tough decisions that are best for you, can be a lot harder, if you’ve allowed a bunch of opinions to enter your mind. Get advice from those: who want you to succeed on your terms, who have been through the process and who have a firm understanding on the topic at hand.

Copyright Strength & Grace Life Coaching LLC, 2021 All Rights Reserved