Just Ask For It

What are you missing? What are you longing for?  What opportunity is on the horizon that you hope to be part of?  What help or assistance do you need? Are you due for a raise or a promotion? Is there someone that you’d love to spend more time with? 

Now the bigger question, what are you going to do about it?

There’s been so many times when I wanted something: a raise, a promotion, time spent with someone or merely a little guidance and I never did anything.  I either thought that it was someone else’s responsibility to recognize what I so obviously deserved, I made assumptions on what the answer would be or I was scared of the response, so I did nothing.

Do you know what you get when you do nothing?  You pretty much get nothing, which can leave you feeling bruised, bitter and blaming the other party for not doing what is clearly in your power and your responsibility to do.  If you’re not willing to stand up, ask for what you want, show people what you feel you deserve and what you’re worth then why on earth do you think anyone else would?  Every time you shy away from an opportunity to let others know what you desire, you’re saying something (by not saying something) about your own value.   Sometimes the mere act of not asking for what you want becomes the final answer to the question you never actually asked.

What I’ve found since taking more initiative in asking for what I want, is that if I receive a NO it doesn’t change anything.  Think about it, you’re asking for something you do not already have, the only answer that will change your circumstances is a YES, a NO leaves you exactly where you were before you asked the question.

If you’re uncomfortable with asking for what you want, try this exercise recommended by Tim Ferriss

For the next 10 coffees or teas that you buy at a café, Dunkin’ Donuts or Starbucks, when it’s your turn to order ask for 10% off.  That’s it, ask for 10% off, all that will happen is you either pay what you were already planning on paying or you pay 10% less of that.

“Take the risk to ask for whatever you need and want. If someone says no, you will not lose anything. If someone says yes, you have a lot to gain.”
― Abhishek Ratna