Take the Blinders Off
Start With Seeing What Is
It’s easier to become who you want to be if you know who you already are. The future you is your destination, and just like the map in the mall you have to start at YOU ARE HERE in order to figure out how to get to YOUR there. This makes complete sense, and yet when it comes to self-transformation the future becomes the complete focus and the now is ignored, because who wants to see and acknowledge who they don’t want to be?
This elected ignorance can lead to making and remaking the same mistakes that got you to where you are because you’re not taking the time to learn from what you’ve already done. Furthermore, only focusing on where you want to be without knowing your starting position can give a skewed idea of the amount of work, time and ‘distance’ that it will take to get there.
Listen, I’ve been there, so many times! I never wanted to acknowledge exactly how out of shape I was, or what my current eating habits were because I was going to change and that was all that mattered. Here’s the thing: when it comes down to actually doing the work, it is the current you that will have to step up and do it. That future you is only attainable through your current self. Meaning that if future you is a runner, current you still has to get on that treadmill and run in order for that to happen, and current you may not be anywhere near where future you is, which then can make current you discouraged and possibly more likely to give up. Where you are now is your starting point: you start here, the ending is yet to be determined, and the key to a good start is an honest start.
Get honest with yourself. It is worth the time, effort and uncomfortable feelings that it takes to really examine your current situation. My advice to make this perhaps a little less painful and more effective is to take a detached, analytical and compassionate approach.
“I think self-awareness is probably the most important thing towards being a champion”
Billie-Jean King
Detach. Step outside of yourself and observe what has been happening as if it is another person. If this isn’t you, and just some random person that you’ve been tasked to observe then when you see he/she eat fast food three times a week, binge watching netflix instead of going to the gym as planned, and forgoing the prepared salad for the office pizza you won’t feel the shame/guilt. All you need to do is collect the data for analyzation.
It’s helpful to observe but it is even more beneficial to analyze. Start asking the questions: what was the reason behind choosing fast food, was there travel involved, and was it unexpected or was poor planning to blame? Why the need to numb and zone out to netflix, what happened that day to thwart the plan to workout? Was the office pizza party announced, could there have been an opportunity to leave the tempting situation or was the draw of free food the reason? After the data has been analyzed, the head scientist (still you) meets with the subject (you again).
Now is the time for compassion and understanding. Now you can really see what has been going on and the potential reasons that led to the choices that then led to where you are now. It’s not that you want to be where you are, it’s just that you’ve allowed yourself to, you’ve been ignoring yourself and only now seeing what has been happening. Now you can start helping yourself, because you know that who you’ve become is not really who you ARE and that there’s too much good in you to let you suffer by your own hand.