The Victim Within
I would wager that many of us have experienced times when we’ve felt slighted, wronged, misunderstood or even mistreated. What happens though, when it SEEMS LIKE you’re constantly just being brought down and challenged? When life just keeps throwing you for another loop, another unexpected downfall or another unreturned affection. There seems to be a disparity between the amount of struggle versus the amount of ease you experience. You start to feel powerless against the waves crashing down on you and apathetic about your own ability to withstand the undercurrent.
That is when the victim within begins to take hold:
At work the victim within may have you feeling overlooked or ignored by upper management. It’s not your fault you have no training clients, it’s your Fitness Managers responsibility to set up the introductions.
In your relationships the victim within has you feeling misunderstood, undervalued, underappreciated or perhaps even unloved. The people in your relationships just don’t seem to give you what you need.
When a potential opportunity for greater happiness does present itself, the victim within will start whispering words of doubt and uncertainty making it hard for you to make a decision. You start placing contingencies and limitations on what you’re willing to risk for your future happiness. You’re telling yourself you’re setting up safety nets to ensure your happiness but in reality, you’re setting up roadblocks.
The victim within has you believing you do not have the power to save yourself. Thus, it has you looking to others to be your savior. You start hoping for someone to swoop in and make things right, because you cannot see a way out on your own.
When help is offered, the victim within tells you it’s not the help you’re looking for, it’s not the help you want so you deny that help. The victim within has you latching onto and asking for help in ways others are not able to or willing to give. Therefore, reinforcing the narrative it’s been telling you.
If the thoughts and feelings described here sound familiar, know YOU ARE NOT A VICTIM. It’s the lies and voices within your head that have you giving your power away while holding you down. This is not to discredit or ignore any of the events or experiences you’ve had. This is about bringing awareness to how the victim within has you interpreting, processing and feeling about your life.
When you learn to acknowledge and bring awareness to the victim within (newsflash it exists in all of us, so you are not alone) that is when things will start to change.
You will:
STOP seeing challenges as personal affronts, by understanding they are part of the human experience.
START taking initiative to change your life looking for paths instead of roadblocks.
STOP waiting for others to make the changes you desire.
START accepting the help others offer instead of rejecting it and asking for what is not offered.
STOP seeing past experiences as evidence of a perceived weakness or personal misfortune.
START seeing past experiences as evidence of your own power and will to persevere.
STOP associating dwelling in pain and sadness as a noble endeavor.
Really, think about it for a second, a minute heck, take ten minutes to meditate and contemplate on how things might feel or be different without these victim-like thoughts. How would it feel if you did believe you had the power to change? How would it feel to experience life’s challenges and ask yourself, what can you do to make this better for you? How would it feel to accept what is offered and not deny the aid and help that is available to you? How would it feel to look back and see the warrior within who survived instead of a tormented soul that is still experiencing what is over?
YOU have the POWER WITHIN. YOU have come through so much, some of which you were handicapped by the lies told and the power drained by the victim WITHIN. You are strong enough; you are worthy enough; and you can accept what help and love is offered and be thankful for it. Continued suffering does not bring about enlightenment, it only brings about more suffering.
Is time for you to start working on your mental fitness and take your power back?
“Burn the victim card down to the ground - for you are so much more than that!”
― Sijdah Hussain