Who Are You?
Please Identify Yourself.
Think long and hard about your answer to this question, because how you identify yourself will determine what makes you…well you. If your answer contains responses similar to: marital status, parental status, educational background, occupation, fitness level or hobbies, then please read on.
When you look up the definition of Identity, you’ll find: characteristics and attributes that make a person an individual.
This means your identity is about your character, the way you look at the world, how you treat others, your work ethic, all of these are intrinsic qualities that are much deeper ingrained within you then what was listed above. Why am I getting all nit picking about how you identify yourself - because it matters!
You vs The Roles You Play
“Do not let the roles you play in life make you forget who you are.”
― Roy T. Bennett
Now that we have the true definition of identity, start thinking about your own characteristics and personality attributes. For example, I know I am: quick witted, smart, hardworking, optimistic, and slightly socially awkward especially in small groups where there is no task or activity to help with the ‘small talk’. These are some of my true characteristics and these qualities are what makes me uniquely me. Take a few minutes and write down ten characteristics that make you uniquely you.
The roles you play are: your marital status, parental status, hobbies, career, titles and education, it is critically important to understand that these are just roles.
Now bring your identity and the roles you play together:
You are a (insert a few characteristics that you use at work) person who performs (insert occupational role) for work.
You are a (insert a few characteristics that you use when parenting) person who’s taken on the responsibility of raising (insert children, dogs, cats, birds etc.).
You are a (insert a few characteristics that you attribute to being a good partner) person who (is looking for or has made a commitment) to share a life or spend time with another.
What this means is that regardless of the roles you play, YOU, the person you are will not change and you’ll never be in fear of losing yourself if your role changes. I know that this can sound scary at first, many people think who am I if not: a mother, husband, scientist, manager, football player (ie Tom Brady) or for me yoga teacher?
I’ve personally been struggling with this idea, because for the last seven years I’ve received so much through my role as a yoga teacher. Leading a class, seeing everyone breathe together, move together, have students come up and say things like: “because of you I can keep running”, “because of your class my back has never felt so good” or “your class and the quotes you read…it seems like you always know exactly what I need”. Not to mention all I gained and the growth I experienced personally when learning the steps to take on the role of yoga teacher, that journey completely changed my mindset, perception and therefore my life for the better. Over the last several months my life (as many others) has been completely turned upside down and there are new roles that I’ve had the privilege to audition for: entrepreneur, virtual personal trainer and life coach but in order to play these roles to the best of my ability, I need to let go of past roles and my attachment to them.
Many roles are not meant to last forever, and letting go of your attachment will allow you to exit the stage before you’ve stayed too long. Taking on new roles while still attached to roles that have been played out, will have you spread too thin and your performance in both will probably suffer as a result. Be thankful for the experience, what characteristics you were able to harness and highlight with each performance but never let the role itself define you, because you are still you regardless of the role you are playing, leaving or about to take on.
Copyright 2020 Strength & Grace Life Coaching LLC