Who Are You Fighting For?
“Your real battle is not with the outside world,
it is with an enemy that hides deep within you.
Find it, Fight it and Set yourself free.
The key to your freedom lies in your deepest fear.”
― Henna Sohail
There is a traitor amongst the ranks, a treacherous, conniving and weak individual has slithered into the encampment, and lays in wait. They will go unnoticed, observing, watching and listening…finding the weaknesses and plotting their approach.
You have yet to notice this interloper, for you’ve been on the battlefield fighting, sweating, pushing through the frontlines and straining yourself all to show your support for your beloved Queen. She is all you’ve ever dreamed of being, every aspiration you’ve had for yourself is embodied within Queen BetterYou. You can see yourself in her, in some distance future, and you’ve been promised that all of the effort and actions you’ve been taking will bring you closer to that destiny.
The traitor does not capture your attention in the heat of battle, for the battlefield requires your complete devotion to the task at hand, no it is when you stumble back to the encampment, battle weary and tired. There she sits, spinning tales of old, looking for alternate ways, questioning the approach that BetterYou is using. At first you barely hear these stories, they are but the buzz of a mosquito in your ear, you trust what you’re working for, the plans set forth are crystal clear and you believe in them. As the days go on, you find yourself leaning against a support beam pretending not to listen, but the words are permeating your mind. Before you know it, you’re now one of those found in enrapture, leaning in to catch every word, letting her vindictive views and questions infiltrate your mind.
As you wake the next morning to head out to your post, there are questions floating around in your head and you’re not too sure where they’ve come from. You look up to the horizon, and in the far distance your cherished Queen walks the battle line, there she is, the one you are striving for and the one you are destined to become, she is closer than before and yet still far off. You fulfill your duties as set forth in the battle plan, but the motions have become mechanical, the passion that once ran through you infusing every action and choice with hopes of a better you are no longer felt. As the days stretch on you become sloppy, you’re a little late for your post, you stray outside the prescribed lines, and you keep hearing that other voice in your head. You start looking for short cuts, questioning the effectiveness of what you’ve been doing, looking for loopholes and you tell yourself these thoughts are still aligned with the goals at hand. You think you’re looking for answers to questions posed by your Queen and those answer will lead you to her, to where you desperately want to be. In the moments when the questions start to arise you fail to ask whose truly asking these questions, you do not pause and think about their purpose, they seem connected to your desires so you begin to answer, you answer to these questions and the voice behind them.
You begin a new fight, one that you’ve told yourself is for the same battle. When the day is at its end and you look up to see BetterYou only to find that she is farther off than before, and you’re having trouble understanding what has happened. You stand there looking ahead, when your ears begin to ring with a cackling coming from behind you, not wanting to believe the truth but needing to see it, you begin to turn around.
There you see her, smirking at you, and through the foggy mist of disbelief, a sour bitter taste of recognition begins to fill your mouth. Your vision begins to sharpen and your eyes lock onto the face that is before you. It is as if the past has stepped into the present and the face you had worn all those weeks ago, (before you had beheld the image of a Better You), is standing in front of you. It was the reflection in the mirror, the one that pushed you into believing you weren’t good enough for another realm, you weren’t worth the work or love that was needed to take on the battle at hand, it was the one you had said you’d never see again. The clang of your sword dropping to the cobbled stones below mimics the clang you hear within when you ask,” Who have you been fighting for”???
That’s what you’ve got to ask yourself, who are you fighting for, who is asking the questions that your spending time to find the answers to? This is an internal battle between the person you are meant to be -the best version of yourself, and the tyrant that is holding you captive. You may think it’s easy to distinguish because they are both versions of you, but if you don’t stop and look up to see who you’re really serving the voice sounds exactly the same. Start examining the answers you’re looking for and determine the questions behind them. If you’re looking for ways to circumvent a successful but slow approach, if you’re looking for excuses as to why you can’t maintain the discipline required, if you’re looking for short cuts, if you’re failing to reach out to your comrades for support and instead your hiding away- stop and ask yourself what are you really looking to gain… who are you really fighting for?
Copyright 2020 Strength & Grace Life Coaching LLC