Everyone’s Scared and Everyone Sucks……Until.

“Being scared is part of being alive. Accept it. Walk through it.” Robin Sharma

About three weeks ago I pushed myself way outside of my comfort zone by recording my first ever live video. The idea of standing in front of a camera, live (open to the public) on social media with no editing, no filters to teach two classes meant I was a complete wreck the whole morning. Since I was putting myself into a fear inducing situation I made sure to announce and advertise the classes ahead of time, because I am a professional and I show up for what I commit to. Getting in front of that camera moved me from the scared, insecure little girl who would run away from the camera at the age four to a woman who’s confident within herself and comfortable with her own vulnerability. To those that attended the class thank you, your support and comments afterward brought tears to my eyes, and I know that watching the video many would not know just how scared I was, but I was terrified.

Days later I found myself giving my first ever webinar, once again nervous and feeling completely overwhelmed I stepped up and pushed my own limits even further. The webinar went well, but by no means TedTalk worthy (yet) and I received much appreciated constructive advice afterwards. So why am I bringing up these personal stories, what do they have to do with you?

Everyone’s Scared

“I’m scared, you’re scared we’re all scared – do it anyway” – Liz Simmons

I want you to know, that EVERYONE (who has a well-functioning amygdala ) experiences fear, it is a normal response to keep you ‘safe’ but growth doesn’t happen in safety. If you want to live a fuller life and keep growing then you are going to experience fear over and over again. Let that sink in - if you’re putting yourself out there you will feel trepidation, fear and/or anxiety, and the best way to manage fear is to accept and embrace it. When I say embrace it, I mean full on bear hug fear with love, appreciation and strength, to the point that you don’t want to let go and fear is the one trying to struggle free from your overpowering embrace. It’s simple, the more you hang out with fear and own it, the more comfortable you become with the relationship, which opens you up to accepting more challenges and growth opportunities. This kindred relationship with fear doesn’t take away the associated feelings…you will still be scared, but you will be comfortable with being scared and you’ll know that the benefits of this relationship greatly outweigh the discomforts.

Everyone Sucks

“Sucking at something is the first step towards being sorta good at something.” - Ryan North

Seriously, everyone sucks at something, and more often than not the first attempt at anything new you’ll suck too. If it’s the fear of performing poorly that’s got you on the sidelines and you’re not willing to get out there then you’ll never know how great you could be if you just accepted your own ineptitude. The way I look at this is, if you’re new at something then why wouldn’t you suck at it, it’s not like you ever did it before, so embrace the newbie mentality it’s like a get out of judgment free card….”yeah I’m horrible at this, because well I’m new at it”. When you’re learning or challenging yourself in a new way it will be hard, and you will definitely feel uncomfortable and your own weaknesses will become apparently clear, but judging yourself, and berating yourself, wondering why it’s so hard for you will not aid your progress. Showing up consistently, asking for advice from those that have experience and letting yourself be okay with stumbling and suffering now because you’re learning will move you from novice to not so novice.

So go forth my friends, let fear be an emotion you know well, and be an enthusiastic beginner. You may toss your cookies from nerves, you may stumble and fall on your face but when you get up you’ll realize it wasn’t the stumbles that matter, it was all the times you got up afterward.

Elizabeth SimmonsApril 12, 2020